4 Epic Mom Fails We’ve All Experienced (Or Will Eventually…)

I’m a proud sponsored blog partner and happy panelist for the Sisterhood of Motherhood program.  That said, I’m pretty pigheaded about being told what to do, so all the opinions shared are 100% authentic “Heather” thoughts.  Keep reading for additional disclosure.  

4 Epic Mom Blunders We've All Experienced (or will eventually...) http://www.incredibleinfant.com No matter how perfect we try to be, every now and then we all experience one of those epic mom fails that are just so spectacular that some nosy blogger has to write a post on it.

*clearing throat*

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

In an attempt to “make us all stronger,” I’m rolling out the top 4 blunders that plague all mothers.

If, for some heavenly reason, you’ve not yet experienced these little “Character Builders”…

…your time’s a comin’. 

Make sure you share your own little “blunders” in the comments.

Misery loves company.  Sisters, we are absolutely all in this together.  🙂

The Poo Tsunami (Epic Mom Blunders #1) http://www.incredibleinfant..com

#1.  The Poo Tsunami

The Poo Tsunami (also called “Poonami” by people more clever than me) is exactly what you think it is.

Your baby.

Bathing you in excrement.

In public.

Check out these “been there” poonami admissions shared by fellow readers on the Incredible Infant Facebook Page:

“I spent all afternoon carrying my son around for errands, trying to figure out why all these businesses smelled so bad. When I got home I discovered a poo streak up the side of my white shirt from carrying my baby on  my hip…”  ~ Jenny A.

“At my cousin’s wedding my husband was holding our oldest. He had an explosion and it got all over both of them. We had a change of clothes for my son but not for my hubby. He had a stain spot for the rest of the wedding/ rehearsal!” ~ Alicia H.

“My mother didn’t realize my baby brother had had a diaper disaster.  She figured it quickly, though, when she tried to lick off some chocolate that had landed on her arm.  (Spoiler: It wasn’t chocolate.)” ~ Heather G.

“When I changed my son for the first time… Or any baby for that matter. He shot out a turd that hit me in the stomach (he unfortunately had constipation issues really young). I was so astonished that this happened I didn’t notice the fact that he had started to pee…all over his face.” ~ Cierra W.

“One month ago, my 2 year old son shut down the chick fil a play area. He went up in the tubes and shat himself then proceeded to pull a marquis De saud and sampled from his diaper like it was full of art supplies, smearing it everywhere. The other kids came down and told us he puked. My husband refused to climb up to get him. I am too fat to go up there. Our new friend went up to retrieve him only to find him pooped not puked. As I was discreetly telling a manager, my husband boisterously announced our predicament to the entire establishment. I ended up going into the men’s room with my husband to change him. The poop was caked on his hands and drying like clay.” ~  Amanda A. 

Your “Please Never Let This Happen to Me” Solution:

Pack an emergency bag of clothes (for adults AND baby) and keep it in the car and you’ll always have a backup!

And I guess, in Amanda’s case…bring a relative you can pretend is the parent instead? 🙂

Volmit Volcanoes (Epic Mom Blunders #2) http://www.incredibleinfant..com

#2. Vomit Volcanoes

Some babies spit up more than others.

I understand that.

What I don’t understand is how a baby knows exactly…

  • who is the worst possible person to toss chunkies at (my well-groomed grandfather)
  • where is the worst possible place to paint with the puke palette
  • and when is the absolute worst time for ‘Ole Faithful to erupt.

Somehow…they KNOW.

Here are a few stories to curl your toes:

“I was vomited on (while dd was in the bjorn facing me) during my husband’s Masters graduation. No change of clothes, and the smell made me sick. Spent the rest of the time outside trying to get rid of the stench!” ~ Rebecca G.

“Sooo my daughter and I had missed regular Sunday Morning Mass, so I decided to go to the night service that the university that I go to offers.  I made sure my daughter had just eaten a bottle before we went so she would be quiet and content.  We get to Mass and everyone is kind of staring at me b/c I am the only one there with a kid, Mass gets started and my daughter starts profusely throwing up her entire bottle all over me, all over the floor, bawling louder than she ever has, needless to say this happened my freshman year and I am now a senior… 3 years… Still haven’t gone back… So embarrassed!” ~ Shay V. 

“Half an hour into the flight, my 2-year-old daughter spilled yogurt all over me.  I felt irritated as I cleaned it up, which seems laughable in retrospect.  A few minutes later she threw up on me, and continued to do so for the next 9 hours. I arrived at Heathrow the next day so saturated with child vomit that my own mother opted to postpone hugging me until I’d had a shower.” ~ Read the entire story at Travel Savvy Mom.

Your “Please Never Let This Happen to Me” Solution:

You really can’t control your baby’s spit up much – besides talking to the doctor about possible acid reflux, which I would recommend if your baby seems really fussy and throws up frequently.

You can, however, make sure that you always have a very well-stocked supply of not-your-average burp cloths on standby.

What makes these burp cloths “Not Your Average”?

  • They have to be HUGE – to cover your entire shoulder, and a good section of your back.
  • They have to be absorbent – what good is a burp rag that instantly soaks through?

Not So Fun Feeds (Epic Mom Blunders #3) http://www.incredibleinfant..com

#3. Not-So-Fun Feeds

Breastfeeding definitely had highs and lows for me.  There’s nothing like looking down and having your little one stop and look up at you with dribbles on her chin.

That said, sometimes those “ladies” have a mind of their own.

“I am a X ray Tech at a hospital and my son is now 7 months old. Once he turned 3 months I stopped wearing breast pads to work because I had my breasts on schedule so I never leaked. I always pump immediately before I start work but on one occasion I had a clogged milk duct. I thought when I had pumped before work it went away but about 3 hours later, while working in the Kids ER, my partner had told me to go and change shirts. I looked down and had a huge wet spot on scrub top!  I have no idea how long I had been walking around like that or how many patients I had seen. Needless to say I never leave the house without breast pads anymore.” ~ shared on What to Expect.

“We were the only people sat in the garden of a local coffee shop, where I was feeding Baby I. Two men in suits came and sat on the table next to us, having some kind of business meeting. Little Man O, who was just over two and a half and has always been a friendly little chap, started talking to these two men. ‘My baby brother is having his booby milk,’ he said. ‘First he is having the right side and then he will have the left side. He sucks the milk out of mummy’s nipple like a straw.'” ~ read more at Cardiff Mummy Says.

Your “Please Never Let This Happen to Me” Solution:

You can’t do much about toddler talk (except laugh and enjoy the innocence), but I would definitely take the advice above and keep a handy stash of nursing pads on hand.  My personal favorite were these washable Bamboobies.

If you’re a working mom, make sure you read my related article How to Pump at  Work (Without Embarrassing Yourself) for more helpful pointers!

Exhaustion Exile (Epic Mom Blunders #4) http://www.incredibleinfant..com

#4. Exhaustion Exile

The brain does funny things when it’s sleep deprived.

  • Finding my car keys in the freezer.
  • Standing in the middle of the grocery store, unable to remember why I went inside.
  • Putting my cell phone through the washing machine.

Or maybe you can relate to one of these instead?

“One morning as I walked into the office, bedraggled and bleary-eyed, my colleague stopped me to admire my top. ‘Gorgeous!’ she said. ‘I love those cute buttons at the back’. There were no cute buttons – just a line of Cheerios that had somehow ended up stuck to my top in the breakfast madness.” ~ Lucy at Parent Dish

“My infant daughter pretty much slept an hour and then was awake an hour, 24/7. I once spent the entire day at work sipping/reheating a cup of oddly weak coffee from a black mug. Only when I went to wash out the last bits did I notice I never actually added in the coffee; I’d had water all day,” ~ Pamela W. at She Knows

“I’ve had a lot ‘duh’ moments since i had the baby, but the one that really sticks out in my mind is I was talking to my husband on our house phone while I was cleaning the kitchen and when I got off the phone with him I threw our phone in the trash can!  About 20 minutes went by and I couldn’t find the phone anywhere. I looked for about an hour, then the trash can started ringing.” ~ shared by Jessica F. on Circle of Moms

“‘Where’s the baby?’ I shouted in abject panic as my husband walked into the room empty-handed. ‘You’re breastfeeding him,’ he replied.” ~ Emma shared on Parent Dish

Your “Please Never Let This Happen to Me” Solution:

To some extent, exhaustion is something we have to work through – squeezing in naps during the cracks of life.

That said, somewhere around 20 weeks exhaustions moves toward the Optional category.

If your baby struggles with sleep, here are a few ways you can get things back on track:

Mom Fails:
What Ties Us All Together

The best part about reading stories like these is knowing that you’re not the only one who has experienced mom fails.

Someday we will announce these stories at our children’s wedding (or to their Prom Date) and it will all have been worth it.

Until then, it’s good that we can join together and giggle over our worst best parenting stories.

In fact, I’d love to hear your interactions with these mom blunders.

Have any of these happened to you?  Share your story in the comments!

Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program.  As part of this program, I receive compensation for my time.  Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words.  Similac's policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guideliness and social media engagement recommendations.  


Meet Heather Taylor

Heather Taylor

Heather is the Chief Encouragement Officer here at Incredible Infant and has been writing and encouraging parents online since 2007.  She's certified in baby sleep coaching (yes, that's a real thing), has served as an Expert Parenting Panelist for numerous events, and has been a featured writer on blogs like DaveRamsey.com, SimpleKids.net, My Kid's Adventures, Cafe Mom, and others.  If it's 2am and you're desperate to read SOMETHING, click here for all her darkest secrets, including why she really shouldn't be allowed to blog.  


 

4 Epic Mom Blunders We've All Experienced (or will eventually) http://www.incredibleinfant.com

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Comments

  1. My funniest mom-fail so far is a poop story of epic proportions, and it happened not only once, but twice. There I was, changing the diaper of little miss in the early weeks of her life, when the stools are loose and runny. Well, somewhere around the time that I went to switch from dirty diaper to fresh, clean diaper, out came a spray of liquid — Orange poop splatter shot across the entire room. I’m not kidding. It was on the windows, the walls, all over her crib and glider. It even made its way to her bedroom door, which is on the completely opposite side of the room. Poop splatter literally covered the entire nursery, and Daddy and I had to tear the entire thing apart. We spent hours scrubbing and laundering. Then, about two weeks later, it happened again — Only, this time, I was home alone, with no helper. Bummer. Talk about horrible timing. Twice!

  2. What a great blog post – I definitely relate to a lot of it! Thanks so much for linking to my embarrassing breastfeeding stories. 🙂

  3. Denielle says:

    Great post 🙂 I think I have blocked out most of the momentous occasions from the first two kids, but I do have a bittersweet memory from the third…..
    We were at a wedding….super chique. My first time dressing up since the baby was born. The first trial was just trying to decide what dress to wear since I was breastfeeding her…turns out the shirt part of the dress lost a button halfway through the ceremony, and I had to raid my friends purse for a safety pin. 🙂
    Second memorable moment was when the baby poo leaked out of her diaper. The lady holding her at the time was unfortunately blessed with a deposit. I still haven’t asked her if she was able to get her dress back to the original color!

    • Danielle Miller says:

      Denielle,

      Oh my! What can you do, right?! It really does help to look back and laugh (though maybe not in the presence of the lady who’s dress was redesigned). 🙂 Makes it better to hear other peoples stories and share our own cause we’ve all had our moments, yes?

    • LOL  (seriously, I did LOL and the kids wanted to know what was so funny.)  I hope you wrote that down in her book!  It’s definitely a keeper.  🙂

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